When we stop trying to fix others, we find the space to heal ourselves
Commitment in Relationships: How Defining Expectations Can Strengthen Your Bond
Commitment in relationships comes in many forms—what kind, how long, and when to define it. Most people crave security in their relationships, but let’s be honest—our communication skills aren’t always strong enough to openly discuss what we truly want.
The first step? Decide what you want—and what you don’t. (That part is just as important!) Before expecting commitment from someone else, ask yourself: How much of a commitment are YOU willing to make? It’s unfair to expect someone to step up more than you’re willing to.
The Rise of Relationship Agreements
Recently, a friend told me that she and her new boyfriend took an unconventional approach—they drafted a relationship contract just weeks into dating. They laid out their expectations, desires, and non-negotiables upfront, eliminating guesswork and uncertainty.
They didn’t just stop there. They put a six-month term on their agreement, committing to nurture their relationship for that time before reassessing. When six months passed, they revisited their contract to evaluate their progress and determine if they wanted to continue.
Why This Works
Relationship agreements aren’t about stripping away romance—they’re about fostering clear communication and mutual respect. When both partners understand expectations from the start, there’s less room for misunderstandings, resentment, and unmet needs.
This approach is becoming increasingly popular, even among married couples and long-term partners. In fact, some relationship coaches recommend formal agreements as a proactive tool to build a healthier, stronger foundation.
Creating Your Own Relationship Agreement
Interested in trying this? Here’s how to get started:
- Identify your needs and boundaries. What are your relationship must-haves? What’s non-negotiable for you?
- Have an open conversation. Share your expectations with your partner and encourage them to do the same.
- Set a commitment period. Whether it’s six months or a year, agree on a timeframe to actively work on your relationship.
- Revisit and revise. At the end of the term, reflect on how things went and adjust as needed.
This isn’t about forcing rules but about creating a shared understanding of what you both want.
Final Thoughts
While a relationship agreement may not be for everyone, it can be a powerful tool for strengthening trust, communication, and commitment.
If you and your partner are looking for a structured way to define your relationship, why not give it a shot?